Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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