You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize