I think I just saw someone hide a body.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
