i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
