Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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