I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
