We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize