yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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