So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
