Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
