im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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