2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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