left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He passed out mid-signature
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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