Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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