the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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