If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
