There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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