Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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