We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
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He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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