I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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