it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
