Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
