and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
