My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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