You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
