nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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