You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
