is wine microwaveable?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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