I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
