I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize