I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
