My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode