somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
