New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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