apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
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I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
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"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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