He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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