dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
