Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
