Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize