God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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