Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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