Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
