5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You've changed since you got that strap on
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
