Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
