It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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