I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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