ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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