I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
