i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
