omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm like, not good at living.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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