oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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