We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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