I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
