I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
