She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
