she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
