I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
