It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
