her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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