i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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