Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
