Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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