THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
